I was recently thinking about how right now in society, we have many harmful forms of discrimination that are normal and rampant. When I was younger I caused people harm. Throughout my life, people have harmed me. Sometimes I still cause people harm because I'm not perfect and still have a long way to go.
I was wondering about what I would have told my younger self in those moments after I did something wrong. And it's pretty simple:
"No. Instead, here's what we're going to do ...."
Younger self: "Why?"
"Because we don't treat people like that. We care about them."
I really think it's that simple.
But there are some difficult parts about this.
The first is, what do you do instead? It's not obvious if you've never seen an example of good behavior, or if you have toxic traits, and unfortunately the majority of people have toxic traits.
The second part that's difficult is the bystander effect. No one is speaking up. There's only six memorable times an adult said something like that, even though there were definitely more problems that happened. People who face discrimination are harmed by these experiences on a daily basis.
The third part that's difficult is that in conservative or hateful communities, speaking up like that can cost you your life. Those communities are toxic and have cult dynamics, and rebelling against the cult in that way is dangerous.
Here's some solutions:
Education on what to do instead. Could go on a website, such as the idea I had for a sustainable development goal website that would be a directory of solutions. Eventually this education would be in public schools and job trainings. (I'm not saying it already is, because there are trainings that are problematic.)
Specifically bystander training.
Reduce the exit costs of leaving cult-like communities through mutual aid networks. Unfortunately, many leftist organizations also have cult dynamics so it's important for people to be very mindful of creating healthy groups.
Comments