If we want society to improve, we have to stop intellectualizing respect.
In modern times there’s a big focus on spreading public awareness on social issues. People create trainings about minority identities. Others want special days dedicated to awareness on specific issues. It’s all about educating people.
And it’s a huge problem. People decide that they will only respect another person on the condition that they understand what the person is going through. In this line of thinking, a person’s humanity and dignity is not inherent- it’s something they must earn by providing evidence, and is only earned after it ‘makes sense’- which is just as arbitrary as it sounds.
A person’s existence and quality of life is determined by public opinion.
No amount of education will ever be enough. In addition to the millions of identities and issues, there are a very large number of identities and issues today that don't formally exist in modern language. No one has developed a terminology or made a public campaign around it. Even though they undeniably exist, these people deeply struggle with things no one believes.
How can this be changed?
By transitioning to a culture where people believe everything- with boundaries.
If someone is asking for something, explaining something, or telling a story the thing to do is believe them. Listen to them. Help them. Work with them. Even if it doesn’t make sense.
Because it doesn’t need to make sense.
It’s not a secret that people who are gullible get taken advantage of. Manipulative people are great at lying, spinning sob stories, and guilt tripping. And that's before taking fake news and political propaganda into consideration. If everyone is to be believed, how do you keep yourself safe?
By using healthy boundaries.
Don’t say yes to things that make you uncomfortable, feel unsafe, or are harmful to your health. Have different responses based on the setting- is the person talking to you a stranger, a coworker, or a long-time best friend?
Here’s a real-life example.
People with disabilities often can’t get disability services until they have a formal diagnosis. For many people, a formal diagnosis takes years to get.
Having a formal diagnosis doesn’t change what symptoms they experience. Whether or not they ever even get a diagnosis, they experience the same thing.
If you remove public opinion, the first solution is to treat people based on their word. This is one of the concepts of mutual aid.
Treating people with disabilities-and everyone else- based on their word is very important for first-and-only interactions. If a disabled person frequently meets new people at their work, the hospital, and running errands it's neither practical nor their responsibility to explain their entire life story to every single person they meet.
Transitioning to a believe-everything culture is the fastest way to resolve a large number of cultural and societal problems. Intellectualizing respect is a never-ending race to complete an unattainable level of knowledge and education.
A believe-everything culture in political spaces can remove a large amount of time-consuming democratic decisions regarding public awareness and free up time to focus on political decisions that actually create change.
A believe-everything culture in social justice spaces can free up significant amounts of time to spend on tangible action plans to improve communities.
A believe-everything culture in the public can reduce traumatization for oppressed people, free up emotional bandwidth for allies, and help transition towards a culture slacktivism to sincere political engagement.
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